I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
