you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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