I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
