and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
God, I missed his penis.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
