Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize