i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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