Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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