I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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