my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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