I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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