Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
