She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
