You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
