I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
