Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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