It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
