she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize