Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
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Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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