The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
