idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
