i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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