So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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