Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
