was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
