Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize