no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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