At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't deserve a penis
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
