i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
