Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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