honey bunches of taint.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
