You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
