he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
