question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
