Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
