I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
