go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize