She's JV to your varsity
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
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