My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
People in love make me want to vomit
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life