nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
