Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
pray to the hookup gods
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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