As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
