I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
