So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize