I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
