she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
