i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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