You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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