I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
