my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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