Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
