youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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