If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
