how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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