I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
