I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
