CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
