try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
one might say we're banned from that church
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
