idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish I only lived at night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
