..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
