i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
