I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
