I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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